noiseGeneral musings of site updates, new content and my incidental existence.
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Non-fool 'perfects' slow-news-day article!
I fucking hate articles like this, you get them every month or so. I assume its for the ignorant to fawn over the apparent impossibility of that oh-so-confusing-maths-thing being applied to something that they do understand (bacon in this case).
'A bacon sandwich formula you say?! ho ho ho! what will those scientists come up with next!'. Do they not comprehend that this could be applied to anything in the whole world? As long as it be measured and represented with a number in any way? In fact, you sometimes see things used that aren't even quantifiable, such as 'H = how hungry you are'. If that is the case, then anything that can be named or described can be used in a formula to describe the 'perfect whateverthefuck'.
It is not even like the formula is necessarily correct or even verifiable, it just has to be a formalisation of a pretty basic understandable idea, and everyone laps it up. See, watch this, I'm going to do it for baked beans on toast, then everyone link to it and I will become the hero of the month, hailed by everyone as a 'the genius that made a formula for the perfect beans on toast'. Then during my inaugural speech at parliament, just before I become a knight of the empire and get a purple heart, I shall inform everyone that they are wankers and need to stop being such gullible mindless fucks.
Formula for perfect beans on toast:
Eb = Vf ( Nt*Sp ) + Cc
where:
Eb = Energy to cook beans
Vf = Viscosity function
Nt = Number of rounds of toast
Sp = How saucy you like your beans on toast
Cc = Cooking constant, to ensure beans have softened
Where this is actually just a formalisation of the concept: 'make some toast; cook beans till they are as thick and hot as you like them, making sure you have enough to cover your toast.
At least Charlie Brooker is pretty funny.
Date: 09 Apr [13:44]
'A bacon sandwich formula you say?! ho ho ho! what will those scientists come up with next!'. Do they not comprehend that this could be applied to anything in the whole world? As long as it be measured and represented with a number in any way? In fact, you sometimes see things used that aren't even quantifiable, such as 'H = how hungry you are'. If that is the case, then anything that can be named or described can be used in a formula to describe the 'perfect whateverthefuck'.
It is not even like the formula is necessarily correct or even verifiable, it just has to be a formalisation of a pretty basic understandable idea, and everyone laps it up. See, watch this, I'm going to do it for baked beans on toast, then everyone link to it and I will become the hero of the month, hailed by everyone as a 'the genius that made a formula for the perfect beans on toast'. Then during my inaugural speech at parliament, just before I become a knight of the empire and get a purple heart, I shall inform everyone that they are wankers and need to stop being such gullible mindless fucks.
Formula for perfect beans on toast:
Eb = Vf ( Nt*Sp ) + Cc
where:
Eb = Energy to cook beans
Vf = Viscosity function
Nt = Number of rounds of toast
Sp = How saucy you like your beans on toast
Cc = Cooking constant, to ensure beans have softened
Where this is actually just a formalisation of the concept: 'make some toast; cook beans till they are as thick and hot as you like them, making sure you have enough to cover your toast.
At least Charlie Brooker is pretty funny.
Date: 09 Apr [13:44]
Missing in Acton
Got a paper hacked together and submitted this last month, and nearly destroyed myself in the process. Weeks of less than 5 hours sleep each night, working for 25 hour stints, reminded me of the old days of geekhood.
The last week I have been sleeping and getting wrecked in a nice lazy fashion, just have to get back into a sane balance now. I finally feel like I am a south-londoner after a few late night treks back home went astray, waking up in Crystal Palace and Acton Town amongst others.
As part of the lack of a huge amount of working hanging over me, I decided to reward myself with a personal music player and a half-terabyte external HDD (I've been waiting for >10years to say that). Also, I don't think I gloated about the fact I got this badboy last month.
Going to book The Fat Duck with some mates soon, which should be a huge laugh and set me back >£100 for some grub.
Anyway, I'm not hellishly busy anymore, so drop me a line/mail to catch up (unless I don't know you and you are shit).
Date: 07 Apr [12:11]
The last week I have been sleeping and getting wrecked in a nice lazy fashion, just have to get back into a sane balance now. I finally feel like I am a south-londoner after a few late night treks back home went astray, waking up in Crystal Palace and Acton Town amongst others.
As part of the lack of a huge amount of working hanging over me, I decided to reward myself with a personal music player and a half-terabyte external HDD (I've been waiting for >10years to say that). Also, I don't think I gloated about the fact I got this badboy last month.
Going to book The Fat Duck with some mates soon, which should be a huge laugh and set me back >£100 for some grub.
Anyway, I'm not hellishly busy anymore, so drop me a line/mail to catch up (unless I don't know you and you are shit).
Date: 07 Apr [12:11]
Natal trophies torn from bellies of desanctified nuns
3 weeks back, and not a damn thing done. Well, my room did get emptied of all the previous guy's stuff yesterday, and I gave it a clean. Apart from that, I haven't been able to get my teeth into any work, do any relaxing or even feel grounded in anyway. Mostly because I have been out and about catching up with people, recovering from all that, not having my own personal space setup, not having my desktop up and running; all while trying to get back into a research groove.
My sister has graciously agreed to help me move my stuff from storage tomorrow (i'm paying her with fixing her laptop). Having my computer/clothes/crap back will be akin to having every Xmas at once while mainlining ambrosia.
I got a new phone/PDA this week, a nice little SPV M600, which actaully seems pretty good. It has WiFi, so I can do testing with lots of my applications.
Still have a few more people to catch up with, but mainly I just have to get my head down and get back into the swing of work.
Date: 26 Jan [17:54]
My sister has graciously agreed to help me move my stuff from storage tomorrow (i'm paying her with fixing her laptop). Having my computer/clothes/crap back will be akin to having every Xmas at once while mainlining ambrosia.
I got a new phone/PDA this week, a nice little SPV M600, which actaully seems pretty good. It has WiFi, so I can do testing with lots of my applications.
Still have a few more people to catch up with, but mainly I just have to get my head down and get back into the swing of work.
Date: 26 Jan [17:54]
The boy is back in town!
Woohoo!
Back in London Town as of Monday, but I am only just feeling settled. Things have been mad-busy with loads of work on, getting back into the swing of london and being technically homeless. I am staying at Dan's at the moment, but all my stuff is still in storage, which leaves me still feeling ungrounded.
Only a short entry (which I will expand upon), but basically:
Xmas was in Manc, and was same-old-same-old.
New Year was a weekend in a cottage in Wales (lots of partying)
Back into Uni for a torrent of work for the last week.
Total fucking Metalocalypse!
Date: 12 Jan [1:17]
Back in London Town as of Monday, but I am only just feeling settled. Things have been mad-busy with loads of work on, getting back into the swing of london and being technically homeless. I am staying at Dan's at the moment, but all my stuff is still in storage, which leaves me still feeling ungrounded.
Only a short entry (which I will expand upon), but basically:
Xmas was in Manc, and was same-old-same-old.
New Year was a weekend in a cottage in Wales (lots of partying)
Back into Uni for a torrent of work for the last week.
Total fucking Metalocalypse!
Date: 12 Jan [1:17]
T-minus 21 hours
Well, I'm all packed and pretty much ready to go. My train is tomorrow afternoon, and then, after a brief one night stop-off in London town, I will be down my local in Manchester.
Tried to fill the void in my present list last night at the local shopping centre; was moderately successful. Why are grandmothers so hard to buy for? However I still have to do a grand tour of Chanel boutiques tomorrow looking for a particular nail varnish for my mother (I have tried >15 different stores already).
I stopped off at a wine store after work today to buy some fancy champagne for christmas dinner. Upon paying, the woman realised the till had been emptied, she was pretty gutted. Thankfully I had enough change to pay the exact amount, which I left on the counter as she frantically called the police.
Although I have had a few passing moments of festive feelings, it won't truly come until all the grief of travel has passed and I am in my living room with a christmas tree.
Date: 21 Dec [19:03]
Tried to fill the void in my present list last night at the local shopping centre; was moderately successful. Why are grandmothers so hard to buy for? However I still have to do a grand tour of Chanel boutiques tomorrow looking for a particular nail varnish for my mother (I have tried >15 different stores already).
I stopped off at a wine store after work today to buy some fancy champagne for christmas dinner. Upon paying, the woman realised the till had been emptied, she was pretty gutted. Thankfully I had enough change to pay the exact amount, which I left on the counter as she frantically called the police.
Although I have had a few passing moments of festive feelings, it won't truly come until all the grief of travel has passed and I am in my living room with a christmas tree.
Date: 21 Dec [19:03]